There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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