am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
