The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize