Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
she smelled like a LAN party
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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