Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
