Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
