I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
