i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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