you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
