we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
