Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize