Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
