he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
