Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
