Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
