just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
