You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
