i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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