i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
