We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
