Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
