piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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