Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Randomize