I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
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