Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
