no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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