Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
