That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
