My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
