And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
