So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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