My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm like, not good at living.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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