The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
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