Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I don't deserve a penis
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
