ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
