There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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