Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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