I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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