So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
