I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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