I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
