we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize