You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
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