Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
