I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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