He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
