I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
