He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
