Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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