well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
