why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
