lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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