wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
