He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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