hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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