if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Come share oat with me in your robe
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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