D3 body, D1 cock
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
