i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
