I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
