He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
