OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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